| Megan's profileFilled With TruthPhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
|
28 September My Horse, BlazeAs a young girl, my world began on my eighth birthday when I received a horse of my very own. My horse, Blaze, was a beautiful sorrel quarter horse with a white blaze down his forehead and two white socks that wrapped around his two back legs. His mane and tail were a dark dirty blonde color; each piece was strong and coarse. His coat was short and shiny during the summer; the sun would glisten from his body. During the winter his coat would get thick and fuzzy; when I placed my hand upon him it would vanish beneath all of his hair. Blaze had large hooves for feet that enabled him to walk carefree across rocks and black top roads. I loved the escape into the unknown when taking an afternoon horseback ride. It was almost as if we were one entity; my body movement molded into the same rhythm as his. Blaze was always slow and gentle as if he sensed I was small and frail. While riding, the smell of leather would twirl up from the saddle to my nostrils. The soft pounding of his heavy hooves on the dirt, the even paced clop over the black top, the quiet squeak of the leather saddle, together they formed a soothing symphony that tickled my ears with delight. Blaze was my moving sanctuary. He was my gateway to freedom and peace away from my chaotic and dysfunctional home life. Approximately eight years later, for the first time, I got to feel the pang of loss. It was disheartening to say the least. I felt as though my world had ended when my father told me of his decision to sell Blaze. I did not have time to react because the new owner of Blaze was pulling into the driveway with his trailer in tow. As the trailer left my drive, and the memories of Blaze raced through my mind, I tasted the salty, wet tears of loss. 02 September UpdateHello to all. I apologize for the desertion of my own blog. There is so much going on at this present time. It would really help if I could get a little bit of it off my chest. And, sense a few of you would like an update...here it is: As far as my mom is concerned, I still do not have any news. I am worried as she told me that the doctor is worried. My mother was supposed to get her surgery to remove the cancer on the 28th. This did not happen. She had surgery on her stomach back in July. Well, she is not healed enough from the last surgery so they have refused to perform the surgery she currently needs. There has been a new date set of Sept. 18. The problem I am having w/all of this is that the doctor cannot see the cancer and therefore does not know what stage it is in. The only way they will know is to go on in and take a look. Those of you that have been diligent with your prayers for my mom I can only request that you would remain a prayer warrior on her behalf. I will try to not be so self-consumed in the future and update my blog w/regard to her accordingly. Next, I have started school. My life is once again non-existent. I am having a real hard time getting back into the grove of things. I am going to enjoy all of my classes I already know it ;-). The horses are doing pretty good but have not been without incident. There is a new scar on my left leg due to a little mishap with Blue. His front hoof found its way to the front of my lower leg. Yep...it sure did leave a mark. He also decided to continue acting a fool and his chest landed on a post which resulted in quite a few stitches. He also got one of his hind legs over a five wire high barbed wire fence. Then good ol Hidalgo ended up running head on into the fence which caused him to flip head first over it. It has been one thing after the next with those two young dummies. And to think I thought castrating them would help with those sort of actions. I will have to post new pics of them cause they are really growing. I also have a good pic of Blue's wound after busting all the stitches out (when he got in the fence). As for the Women's Conference... I am still speaking there. The invitations have gone out w/my name mentioned! I will also be leading a workshop there. The church got the money to fly me home for the weekend. I am excited but have not really started w/the preparations like I need to. God will work in this though...I just know it! My relationship with God is growing. Now if He will just send me a man! I am not that worried about it but I do find myself thinking about it often. Oh I can't forget work. It is really moving along. I am making some progress w/the girls. There is a mutual respect that is growing between them and myself. I have 3 girls and 2 babies living within the home currently. One of the girls is due in November. I am anticipating the delivery of the new baby...it is going to be an exciting time! I will hopefully get to take her to the hospital. Thanks to those of you that have not given up on me. I do enjoy writing here and getting feedback from you. Life is just consuming me though. Have you ever felt that way? I think I need training in time management. 20 July A Prayer For MomYesterday I received very disturbing news. My mother has yet another form of cancer. She needs an operation but cannot have it performed for another few months due to a recent surgery. The doctor said that this prior surgery incision needs to heal before they can do the next.
I am just asking that you will pray for God's will to be done in this situation. Pray that if it is in His plan to heal my mother that it be done. And, that in the mean time He give her the peace and comfort that only He can provide. Thank you all. 11 July RamblingAdventure has always been appealing to me. What I consider adventure is experiencing something new. I would love to have a new experience everyday, and, if I reflected upon each day I would probably realize that I do. But yesterday was definitely a new experience. I witnessed for the first time a castration. As a matter of fact I witnessed two of them. It was high time to have both of my studs (horses) gelded. I have not had any real problems out of them that would not allow me to handle them, but I don't want to wait until something happens. Their purpose is to be loveable creatures that people of all ages can interact with. As for the experience, I wish I watched someone elses horse be gelded. The sympathic pain I felt for them was hard on me. However, I am happy to be able to put one more thing I have done/witnessed in my little book.
There is a new book that I am currently reading. It is called "Captivating." I am sure some of you have heard of it. By the time I reached the 34th page I was captivated. This is an amazing book. It is teaching me why I am the way I am. It talks about the heart of a woman. Who I am way down deep. It puts words and reasons behind the feelings that I cannot explain. By the time I finish this book I hope to have a better understanding of who I am, why I feel what I feel, what I need, and how to lead a fulfilling life by putting into practice the new knowledge I have discovered. All women are different yet our hearts are all still the same. Not the heart that pumps blood throughout your entire body, but the heart that is the center of your person...your inner being. God knows that our heart is the root of who we are. It determines how we live and how we feel. God told us: "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23. If our heart is the "wellspring of life" why wouldn't we want to drink from it? Why not find out exactly how it ticks? That is what this book is helping me to accomplish. True it is only a step in the right direction or the first stone to be unturned, but I am determined to discover the person God has created. He has put His time into each one of us and has weaved such intricate details that we are more than worth exploring. I will try to update with the information that I learn while reading. Even so, I still recommend that you read this one for yourself (the women). If you are a man and would like to explore why you are the way you are then I recommend "Wild at Heart." Both books are written by John & Stasi Eldredge. If you are interested in either just click on the link that I have provided and it will give you some information. I also hear that it is beneficial to read the one that pertains to the opposite sex as well. People have said that it helps them to interact with the opposite sex on a deeper more meaningful level.
Hope everyone is doing well. I miss spacing around. I guess we will all get back into it when summer is over. This really is the busiest time of the year :-). Toodles. 28 June Prayer RequestAt times I feel as if my life is finally pulling together and is headed down the right road. Today is one of those days. It is because with every opportunity my mind gallivants down the road of endless possibilities. Most would call this state of partly unrealistic mind flirtations that have been derived from one simple opportunity, daydreaming. Because I am very susceptible to daydreaming, I am asking as many that read this to pray for me. I have been asked by my Pastor's wife to speak at a Woman's Conference this October. I would only have to prepare for a 20 min speech. Now, I have been hoping that I would get the opportunity to speak in front of people. I want to share what God has taught me and shown me with other people. The problems are: 1) I don't feel as if I am the best candidate to deliver a speech to these women. Yes, yes, I know that God is glorified in our weaknesses and the strange thing is is that Teresa (my Pastor's wife) said that I was the first person that came to her mind when she was told to find speakers for this event. She wants me to share my testimony. 2) I don't know if I will have the money to travel to Maryland in order to speak. Yes, God provides and is always faithful in doing so.
I guess these problems really do not amount to a whole lot. Either way, I do want to pray about this and have others praying with me. I want to be sure that I hear loud and clear from the Lord Most High. 19 June My Boys' ArrivalWhat was expected to be a time of happiness did not really end up that way. Yes, I was happy that all three of my boys made it to Missouri in one piece and alive. However, the condition in which they arrived was not expected. Let me just say this: Their arrival was supposed to be on Friday, then on Saturday, then Sunday morning, then Sunday at supper, then late Sunday evening, and ended up being 11:30pm Sunday night. So, it is dark and I had to shine my car headlights on them to take a look at them. I was horrified. Blue was so sunk in and ribby that I could barely stand to look at him. His eyes told me everything. He was scared and tired and stressed and still was happy to see me and to get off that trailer. Hidalgo did not look the best either. Malachi was not bad. He lost some weight but nothing like my paint colts. I took some pictures of them today out in their big new pasture but I have to figure a way to download them to this new computer without the camera program on here.
Anyways, I turned them out into the pasture today and Malachi was like a kid in a candy store. At first he just stood there looking out over all the grass with no fence. Then he took off running. Stopped and looked around. Took off running in a different direction. Stopped then fell out on the ground. I watched his roll and wiggle and throw his feet all in the air. When he got up he took off running again throwing his head all around in the air. He was free. Free at last. Needless to say I just stood watching marveling at how happy he really was. I had never seen him behave as he did today.
The little boys played as Mally and I left down the driveway for a little ride. They were bumping into one another and nipping each others withers and legs. Then they took off running as if to say, "ha ha, while the cats away the mice will play!"
I felt very touched and proud to witness them in their glory today. I was glad that I have been able to provide them with a new home that they most certainly approve of :-D. 17 June A New AdventureWell it is now the middle of June and a lot has happened in the last month. I finally learned that I made straight A's in all of my classes with a GPA of 3.91.
Near the end of May I travelled home for a couple of weeks. My time there was spent well. I was able to visit a good deal of my family. During my time home I was blessed to have my brother home visiting as well. I did not get to spend as much time as I would have like with him but some is better than none. He leaves on the 19th to head back to Iraq.
My mother and I drove back out to Missouri. I did the full 16 hours of driving here because mom had to drive all the way home herself. So, when I finally get here I am exhausted and all mom wants to do is shop. Needless to say by the time she left I was beat. However, we did get many necessities for my new apartment.
Now that I am back I have started working my new job. I work at a home for pregnant girls/single moms. It is an alternative to abortion. This really is a wonderful ministry opportunity that God has laid before me. But, it can be very challenging and stressful if I allow it to be. I am in desperate need of God's grace and direction each and every moment I am with these girls. It is nice to know that I am in a management position and I do have the responsibility of supervising staff. This is the type of position God knows I am most suited for. I like to have my opinions considered and this way they surely are. My superiors seem to think I am well suited for the position and seem to have every confidence in me. That really does provide quite a bit of assurance. So far I have made what seems to be a good connection with each of the girls. Unfortunately that did not stop the cussing I received from one of them the other day. I was very pleased when she did come and apologize considering she usually does not apologize for her actions. I think that I am not quite stern enough, however, before going that far I would like for them to respect me enough to listen when I am disciplining them. So maybe I am doing this right. If there are any suggestions feel free to leave them :-).
Right now all that is left is to get my horses out here. They should be arriving tomorrow morning sometime. I am very excited and I can't wait to go riding in this beautiful country. I bet I could get lost real easy like, but I don't think even that would be bad for a couple of days ;-).
Life is good here in Little Missouri. God is providing and continues to amaze me with His already well thought out plan for my life. Everyday it seems that I come to a more clear understanding of how God is answering my many heartfelt prayers. Sometimes I notice that one has been answered that I only prayed once and never thought of again until the realization that it was answered. All in all life is good. Now if God would just answer my prayer for a man... 17 May Finals...Today I received my first final exam grade in Christian Worldview and Ethics. The first test that I took in this class I got a D (so not me). I was more than upset. The test was on worldviews and I just didn't get it. The second test was on ethics and I got a B. This has been my hardest class this semester. I studied for my final for somewhere around 4 hours. Well, today I got back my final exam score...a NINETY-SIX (96). In case you didn't know that is an A baby!!!! Yeah!
Now I just have to wait on the others....*sigh* 12 May Heaven on EarthIt has been rather rough here lately for me. Starting tomorrow I will be tested on what I have learned throughout this semester...yep, finals. I am, at yet another major transition in my life and I am not sure of how it will all be accomplished. The crying became so unbearable that I started sleeping...ALOT...to avoid thinking and crying even more. However, I finally realized that I am trying to "do it myself" and it was causing all sorts of stress. So, I cried to God and told Him I could not do it all. I did not know how I was going to come up with the money to have my horses transported from Maryland to Missouri, or where I was going to put them when they got here, or where I was going to come up with the money to do it. But, in just a couple of days time of letting go and laying it all down...bam...God began to work. Tonight I went to visit a local here in this area about boarding my horses. We worked out a deal that I have been hoping for. He seems nice enough and his land is more than beautiful, it is right out of my dreams! He shows horses and I would surely love to do the same. Hopefully, he will be willing to invest a little time into showing me how to have fun at showing one or both of my babies. Wow, tonight has been an answer to my prayers. God is so good. I just wish that I had faith enough to walk on water and not doubt Him and His abilities so often. Man, I love it when heaven's blessings rain down on me here on earth. Thank you Father!
Anyways, college life is great and I am sad to see my dorm life end. It was a great experience, one I will cherish for the rest of my life.
On another note, the girl, Katie, that tripped me...she fell tonight. She hit the sidewalk and skinned up her hands. I really felt bad for her. Moral: You reap what you sow. hehe. 08 May I think I am growing!I was prepared to get into the shower (why is it always when I am trying to get ready and relax in the shower???). There were quite a few of my friends standing around in the hallway chatting so I thought I would stand there, laugh and cut up for a bit. Kristi and I were joking and I went to run toward her and Katie does one of the old numbers--sticks her foot out. Well I had no clue she would do something so dag on ridiculous, and I tripped. I flew forward and landed hard on my knee and elbow. I got some wretched rug burn. Now usually when something of this nature happens I really retaliate. She tried apologizing and I must admit I did stand there and pump my fist and proclaim that it was a good thing I am now a Christian. Probably not the best phrase to throw around but I was mad what can I say. I did not hit her. I did not yell at her. But, when she said go ahead and hate me I said yeah, and don't ask me not to cause I am going to right now. After a couple of minutes standing there while others and myself examined the nasty rug burn on my knee and elbow I excused myself and headed for the shower. It only took a minute when I started feeling horrible. I knew she, Katie, did not mean to launch me full force into the air only to skid down the carpet hallway and suffer what appeared to be a large biopsy of my knee and elbow. I got out of the shower soaking wet...wrapped up in my towel...went to her room. She had locked the door--she never locks the door, but evidentially the other girls told her it would be a good idea to lock the door (they really know me). So I knocked. She answered and I told her that I could not bear the thought of her thinking I was mad at her. I said when we play around things like that happen. She hugged me and seemed quite pleased with that response. I went back to the shower with a real peace about me. I realized that God has really been working in me. I did not yell, punch, or cuss for that matter. Wow, God is good to me...all the time. He is constantly shaping me and making me into the woman He wants me to be. I am thankful for this unpleasant event. Yes, my leg stings like the dickens, but I am a better person for it. I now know that I do have the power of the Holy Spirit within me to help me to make the right choices and respond in a more appropriate way. Yep, I sure am growing as a person. Thank you, Father! 01 May Kansas City TourThis past weekend I went on another tour with the Gospel Choir. This time we went to Kansas City, Missouri. I was very excited since this is also my friend, Kristi's, hometown. I was able to stay with her during the weekend instead of a hotel. I love to visit her mom's house. It is like a movie home. She lives on the 13th floor of a sky scraper. Just amazing.
Be sure to take a look at the pictures. There is one in particular that shows just how much fun we had at Science City. Kristi and I took photos of our shadows in what is called a shadow box. People lined up everywhere watching us make fools of ourselves. Great fun was had by all.
Tonight, I went for a run but only made it about half way to my goal. I have not run in over a week. I think I need to build back up to it. A little disappointing but I still feel better than I did. I have had a little pent up anger evolving from somewhere. Maybe it is the pressure of not knowing what I am going to do for the summer. I went for a job interview Friday and it seemed to go well. However, I won't hear anything for a couple more days. If they offer me this job I think I am going to take it. I will only get to go home for a couple of weeks. This would put a lot of strain on me since I would have to find a way to transport my horses to Missouri and a place to keep them in Missouri in like a month! All of these anxieties...brings me back to this verse: "casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7. God loves and cares for me so much. How dare I be one of little faith. If God presents this opportunity, and He knows all of my needs ahead of time (before I even know them) then He will be sure to provide for all of them in light of the new opportunities that come my way. Wow, I don't even know if I understood that statement the way I worded it.
While I am at it. I am just going to pour out my heart, after all this is my journal. I am letting go of certain things...or should I say people in my life. People I hold on to as an act of control. There is one in particular that really brings pain and hurt to the deepest part of me. I do not really understand it or him for that matter. The end of March I made it clear that I could no longer be just his friend. I really do want more than that and to only talk with him every once in a while with no hope for any thing more than casual friends kills me. It is better to not talk with him at all (I think). So far God has blessed me with just enough comfort to not wallow in this hurt. But it is now May 1st and I am still in pain, still thinking of him, still picturing his face the first time I saw it, remembering the happiness and solitude I felt relaxing in the paddle boat while he read to me. I wonder why I feel this way. Why can't I just let go? There are so many negatives that go along with this person. I wanted to be the one to encourage him and I was for a time. I guess as I have said before there is a time for everything. Perhaps this is not the time to cling or to encourage or to wait, but, rather a time to let go. This is the only area in my life that actually brings with it stinging pain that pierces my heart. I must let go. I must be free. God help me to release him and not look for someone to fill his shoes. Help me to be patient and wait on Your timing. God, please create in me a calm spirit so that I may see Your will as it unfolds in my life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One last thought:
Today is the first day of May. Summer is coming. I hope I at least get to see the beach this summer even if it is just for one day. 26 April "Woooooommmmmmmm Woooooooommmmmm"It had been a long day for this college student. Sat through lecture after lecture during the day, worked on homework throughout the night, and finally around 2 in the morning decided to relax a bit. I prepared my little caddy with all of the necessities to pamper myself while enjoying a nice long soothing shower. Of course here at my college there are floor bathrooms. That means I have to share a bathroom with everyone on my floor. At 2 am there was not a soul to be found...not even wandering the halls. I could finally be all alone with no noise other than the sound of water as it massagingly fell upon my skin. Ohhhh, the pure sweet joy of this delightfully rare moment.
What was that? What the...what happened to the freakin lights?!? (Did I ever mention that I am scared of the dark? SCARED of the dark? Or the fact that I have always had a paranoia of being alone in the shower? OK, I am overcoming both of those...just not completely, yet.) I announced my frustration by saying, "Who is that? Turn back on the lights." No answer. All of a sudden through the pitch black and the slightly see-through shower curtain I saw a light. No, it was not an Angel of the Lord. No, it was not a flashlight. What is it I wondered? All of a sudden I hear, "wooommm wooooommmm." It was a Star Wars lightsaber! Again I say, "who is it," in a more demanding not asking fashion. "Stop it and turn on the dag on lights!" Poke. Poke, goes the sword into the shower curtain. I scream then yell, "Stop it and turn on the lights!"
Laughter bursts out from the other side of the shower curtain. Finally, the lights come on and there stands none other than a few of my fellow students. One of them, the now known "poking" culprit, is dressed heroically with her My Little Pony blanket tied neatly around her neck acting as her hero cape, and her overly large sunglasses acting as suspected goggles (or some sort of eye protective gear). The other who is dressed in nothing other than normal night clothing is evidentially just there as a spectating nusance.
Once the laughter dies down (mind you I still am not laughing very hard), they leave. On their way out as if the initial scare was not enough they turn out the stinkin lights for the second time. I stand there still as a picture, pressed tightly in the back corner of the shower. I stand starring into the pitch black what appears to be nothingness. I ask in a I'm not afraid this is ridiculous voice, "turn on the lights....please" (with a hint of annoyance). No answer. "Guys, this is not funny. Turn on the lights!" No answer. "Hellllllooooooooooooooooo." No answer. "Come on, please" (no annoyance whatsoever...actually a hint of worry at this point). No answer. I stand there for what I know was at least 2 mins...though it felt as if it were 10. Then, with pure fear flowing through my veins and my heart pumping 20x over the normal rate, I stepped ever so slowly out of the shower searching around with my arms for sinks and walls. I make it to the light switch by the main door trying not to make a noise just in case they are there. Oh the anticipated fear of them scaring the last breath out of me! I quickly turned on the lights....noone. I made my way back to my still running shower very thankful that noone was there or walked into the bathroom since I was tip-toeing around in my birthday suit!!!
I finished my now nerve splintering shower while starring out of the curtain the remainder of the time. I have learned a very valuable lesson from this very true story: Always expect the unexpected. 14 April Happy EasterAs I sat here tonight I realized something. Something that though I am not to the point of crying, I do feel a tab bit gloomy about. I realized that this Easter will be the first holiday that I have not been with my family. I am very family oriented and love being with each one of them. But not this year. Instead I will be spending time with a church family that I have yet to get to know. I am sure that God will comfort me in this time and besides He did bless me with a way of visiting home for spring break. I will tell you about that later on...what an experience!
I just want to tell all bloggers out there that I wish them a very Happy Easter. In remembrance for what Jesus has done and defeated for me and you, I want to recite the following passage from Luke (24:1-7):
On the first day of the week, very early in the morning, the women took the spices they had prepared and went to the tomb. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they entered, they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. While they were wondering about this, suddenly two men in clothes that gleamed like lightning stood beside them. In their fright the women bowed down with their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen! Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: 'The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.' " Then they remembered his words.
Praise God that He brought Jesus up from the grave in order to defeat death for each on of us and to provide a way in which we too can be co-heirs in heaven!
Happy Easter!
03 April Tornado's...Letters from Inmates...What a Life!Hello bloggers! I would have said fellow bloggers, however I have not been much of a blogger here lately. So, since much has happened over the last month I will try to make this as brief as possible.
First, the dag on tornado that tore me from my room one night not too long ago. Some of you may follow the weather and remember the storms and tornados that tore across Missouri a couple weeks ago. Well, I was in the midst of it (seems like I always am anymore). I was sitting in my room with a friend when the alarm went off (which I had just learned the day before is an alert when a tornado is around). My friend and I ran from my room down to the lobby of the dorm. Another girl was yelling "run, get out." Since I forgot my shoes, I tore off my socks and commenced jogging along side these other girls towards the main building. It was dark and raining. Then as I am jogging listening to the girl continue to panic and scream I got to thinking, "these girls are running with all they have, why am I not?" Then I thought forget this, if that dag on tornado is coming I should be doing all I can to find shelter instead of worrying about sticking with them! So, I kicked it in high gear, gripped blacktop with my toes, and took off! Don't ya'll know I am a country girl, been running around fields all my life. Anyways, I learned later that when that alarm goes off it is because a tornado is on the ground and within a few miles. Considering the tornados were averaging 1/2 mile wide it would not take it long to get to where we were...that was scary...I am not use to weather like this! Oh, then the hail came...ugh, it was something.
Ok, recently I went home for spring break. While at my mom's house I received a letter in the mail from none other than an inmate. What the? I don't know this person, never even heard of them. Evidentially he picked my name out of the phone book...he said he liked my name?!?!? It was a DISGUSTING letter. I learned way more about his body then desired. I was really taken back by the language and specific instructions and detail. YUCK! He kept saying in his letter to let him know if I wanted to "kick it" with him. Oh, I think he got the point since I called the jail and reported him. They told me that he would receive punishment for it. Also, since he is getting out in 8 months and lives in the same town as my mom, I had to go and file a report with the police. To make matters a little more scary I found out he has had multiple charges since 1992 for drugs, robbery, and assault and battery.
There you have it...finally...an update. Life is good, it is just a wild adventure! I am loving school, learning much, and meeting many. I would not trade my life for anything! Missing you all. I have some other things on my heart but they are not as exciting...actually a little down so I will wait till later to put it out here. Take care my blog friends! 13 February Thanks for sharing your passions...Wow, I was very elated to see that you all shared with me some of your passions. I want all of you to know how much your words of encouragement mean to me although I cannot form the appreciation into words.
I would also like to say:
KC- your passions did not surprise me b/c I feel that comes out in your writing! You go girl...expressing and enjoying what you love.
Josh- Thank you my friend for trying to make me feel better about my singing capabilities. However, you will not get any further by trying to butter me up! HAHAHA...TOTALLY KIDDING!
Trace- CONGRATULATIONS ON THE PREGNANCY!
Rose- Didn't you know you have to clear any changes with me first? hahaha, kidding. I do admire your dedication to meditation and relaxation.
Beth- What a fabulous passion: to enjoy life! Praise God!
Pat- You sound like you just flat out enjoy life with the passions that you hold dear to your heart. I pray that you continue to indulge yourself within them.
Chelle & Lottiemae- Thank you both, your comments brought a smile to my face! Chelle- I totally miss our convos as well...but you NEVER answer your phone! 10 February Weekend EscapadeWell, an answer to a prayer has arrived. I have such a passion for music and singing, however, I think I sound equivalent to Shrek's pain-stricken melody after being stung by a hornet. That is neither here nor there at this point because I have joined the gospel choir here at college...Yippee!
A couple weeks ago I went to watch my friends participate and join the gospel choir with the sole intention of OBSERVING! Little did I know that I would be caught up in all the excitment clapping my hands, swaying side to side, and jumping around with joy, all while singing at the top of my lungs within the first 5 mins of being there! Now, I am a member and this weekend we are headed to Springfield, MO to perform all weekend. Wow, I have been praying for God to show me how to praise him better and look at the opportunity He set before me!
All I have to say as a result of this lesson and blessin is this: if you have a passion for something, go for it and don't let anything stand in your way of achieving the point of utter fullfillment by exercising your passion through good works!
Speaking of passions, what is yours? 21 January The New ChapterI have arrived safe and sound in Missouri--my new home. On Thursday I started classes. Wow, have I been out of school for a long time! The work is outrageous. I know that I will be fine because God is in control of all of this. He is now in control of my life and I hope I allow Him to remain in the driver's seat.
I moved into the dorm room on Monday, Jan. 16th. My parents helped me out so that I could get my own room (what a blessing). My friend, Brian, drove out to the college with me and helped me to move in (another huge blessing). Although I am enjoying this new space that is all my own, I am still finding it hard to get sleep. I stay awake like some sort of a junkie. Hopefully, this will wear off and I will start getting some good sleep. Also, I will post pics of my room once I get my camera out and the rest of my decorations put up.
As far as friendships are concerned, I am meeting lots of new people. They are wonderful! It is nice to be surrounded by people with the same focus and desire that I have--to serve Christ in ministry one way or another. I can tell that life-long friendships are being built right here, right now. Praise God for He is so awesome!
Well, that is about it for now. I cannot post anything long...got too much work to do (yuck)! I miss all of you and miss keeping up with the happenings of your lives. I will be checking in as soon as I can. 30 December The End Has ComeWell, this is it--it's officially my last day in the office. I did not get here until late due to my energy sucking sinus infection. But, when I did get here there were beautiful flowers on my desk from the office. AWWWWW, what wonderful co-workers I have had over the last almost two years. I guess I should stop typing on this thing and accomplish as much as possible in the next 3 or 4 hours! I really am going to miss the people and all the freedom I have here...*sigh* 28 December Whirlwind of EmotionsThe reality of the upcoming move is setting in. Friday, I met the person who may potentially take over my position here in the law firm. She seemed like a very nice gal, however, I felt the tears well up in my eyes. The thought of me leaving I could bare, but actually seeing the potential replacement smacked me right in the face. I like having control of everything. I like doing MY job at MY office in MY town near MY home, and attending service at MY church with MY friends. I seem to stake a claim in everything. The realization that none of it is MINE is hard to swallow. I am very excited to start a new book in my life, but very sad and scared to end this one. Instead of a new book I want to just start a new chapter. I know that this is God's way of stretching me and preparing me for the life He has planned for me, so I will march on through that wall of fear to get to the other side...the place outside of my comfort zone. I just do not want to do it alone. I have the knowledge and faith that I will not walk this alone, for God has gone before me and is currently with me, but having a physical body along for the ride helps relieve the feeling of loneliness. But, this is the big step of faith for me, and with someone along side of me from the beginning I might not rely as much on God (and I know that He wants me to rely on Him for everything). I have to stop thinking...my brain hurts! Well, aside from the twister within my mind, I am feeling a little under the weather. Thanks Josh for the sincere comment you left about me feeling bad, that was very thoughtful. I hope that the rest of you are spared from this most unwelcome illness--the ever dreaded cold! Also, my last day of work at the office is this Friday and my last day at work at JC Penney's is this Saturday. I am excited about this because it means I am closer to leaving for my new journey, yet sad because it means I am ending my life as I know it here. SUCH MIXED EMOTIONS....I AM DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!! You know it is bad when you cannot stand yourself. I wish I could get away from me for a couple of days. Lastly, God surely is providing! I received enough money this Christmas to make my January car payment so that I can use the other funds to pay outstanding bills...Praise God! He is paving my way, so why can't I just focus on the signs and wonders He is blessing me with? |
|
|
